We both wanted to have children but were waiting until the time was right for us. We attended a Daddy and Papa Class through our LGBT Community Centre here in Toronto to explore all the avenues possible for us. We knew we wanted to have a baby through surrogacy right from the beginning. We started researching different websites and blogs and came in contact with one for egg donors and surrogates. We chose our egg donor and spoke to many women regarding the surrogacy. Our surrogate, Kathy, was actually speaking to another couple at the time we messaged her, but we contacted her about a month later again to find out how things were going with that couple she was talking to. Fortunate for us the other couple were not ready to proceed. So we started talking to Kathy and it felt like we clicked. We went to Kingston for a meet and greet with her and her family and it felt right. The pieces were falling into place!!
We had our first embryo transfer in August 2013 but unfortunately the embryos did not take. We were all devastated, upset, sad… but luckily they took again on the second time! The transfers took place here at a fertility clinic here in Toronto.
For our first ultrasound we drove up to Kingston to be with Kathy to see if we were indeed pregnant. That first ultrasound was very nerve wracking, and when the technician said we were indeed pregnant, we were all so happy! Our dream was coming true!! Kathy would go for ultrasounds, sometimes we were unable to be there, but we were in contact with each other on a daily basis. We drove up in a snow storm to be there with Kathy for the ultrasound to determine the baby’s gender. The technician said, ” Well I see something that resembles a penis, but I can’t say for sure” and we started crying! We were so happy! Of course we would be just as happy with the baby being a girl, but now knowing that we were having a boy made it so real! It is an incredible feeling knowing that we were going to have a son!
We were there for Kathy during all the big ultrasounds. It was difficult to be there for every ultrasound being in Toronto as she is in Kingston, but we made sure for all the big ones we were present for.
Weeks passed by and life felt as if life was on hold. We were anticipating the birth of our boy. We would walk by our nursery in the house and stare at the crib, imagining our little guy laying there. Our friends hosted baby showers for us, Kathy and her husband came in and celebrated as well. It is overwhelming knowing that so many people love us and support us. Both Frank and I never thought that we could be fathers, and now everyone was there to celebrate with us the arrival of our baby!
Our due date of June 17 came and we were ecstatic because we knew it was any day now! The days passed and still no baby!! We were getting anxious because we wanted to hold that little guy in our arms so bad. Kathy was over due with both of her kids 10 and 15 days so we knew our little guy would be overdue as well.
We went up to Kingston on Monday June 23 to be there with Kathy and spend time with her family. We went to the ultrasounds with Kathy that week. On Thursday we went to the hospital to induce contractions. That night was very uncomfortable for her as the contractions were two minutes apart all night. On Friday June 27 we went to the hospital in the morning for monitoring and to induce. This was our first experience with a midwife and it was absolutely wonderful! It was very calming, comforting and the midwife was by our side the whole time. Kathy’s water was broken at 10 am and contractions were inconsistent but getting stronger. Around 2 pm, contractions were getting very strong. Frank and I were amazed at the strength that Kathy had. It is incredible that she endured so much pain and kept composure and was very brave throughout this whole process! The pain intensified and the midwife was preparing Kathy for the birth. Frank, Kathy’s husband and myself were all there beside her rubbing her back to try to comfort her through the contractions.
It all happened so quickly, (to us anyways!) Heather, our midwife, was there to coach Kathy and help bring our beautiful, amazing 9lb 7 oz son into this world! All I could remember was seeing his tiny little head emerge and Heather say’ ” Shirts off!!” We both took our shirts off so quickly and the baby was placed on Frank’s chest and I wrapped my arms around both my husband and our son. We both instantly were overwhelmed with love that we began crying! It was an incredible, surreal moment that we will never forget! We witnessed the birth of our little son coming into this world. Kathy is a brave, strong, selfless, giving, stoic woman and we will forever be indebted to her for giving us the greatest gift ever, our little Milo. She made our dream come true. She gave us the child we always hoped for.
She gave us a family. She gave us hope that there is good in this world. She is our hero. We love her so much!!
We are so lucky to have such a beautiful, healthy boy! We are in love with him so much it hurts! Milo is our little pride baby, and there was no other way we would celebrate Pride!