What are your names and your children’s names and ages?
Our son is Caleb, he is 8. We are Matt and Jeff. We are fostering 2 other children who are 5 (a boy) and 6 (a girl).
How did you decide on Caleb’s name?
We had a whole list of names before we got the call from the hospital but when we picked him up out of the bassinet the first time I knew his name right away and it wasn’t one we had considered.
How did you decide what Caleb would call you?
It wasn’t a conscious decision. It evolved as he started talking. I am poppa, Jeff is daddy or we are some combination of daddy poppa or poppa Matt, daddy Jeff or just Matt and Jeff.
How did you decide his last name? Is it hyphenated? Only after one parent?
We decided to hyphenate both last names. However because it is so cumbersome we plan to shorten to one last name this year. Caleb’s school already had begun calling him Jeff’s last name and leaving off mine… So that is the plan when we adopt the little ones.
What were you most afraid of about becoming a parent?
Mostly afraid of how we were going to be better parents than our parents. But as time has passed we’re more afraid of how we can best prepare Caleb for what he will face as a black male in this world.
What is the most rewarding part of being a parent?
Watching something you’ve taught your child being taught to someone else naturally without you being the trigger.
What do you do for fun as an entire family?
We spend much of our time at a private camp ground with many other families. The kids get to run around and get dirty and be outdoors all day without the fear that they’re going to be out of earshot of a parent. The other parents are watching them when they’re out of our view and we spend a great deal of time relaxing and eating meals with a larger group of people.
What was a “must have” item you used when Caleb was little?
Community…. Parenting is a community activity. You can’t be everything to your child all the time. It truly takes a village. Our kids are comfortable asking another parent for help when we’re not available. And it fosters a sense of safety for them that they know there’s always someone they can go to even if it’s not us directly.
Describe your parenting styles. Is one of you stricter?
We both tend to be on the same page. However the kids tend to be more fearful of my discipline than Jeff’s…. Probably because I’m swift into action. After a count of 5…. I move. Lol… I’ve been known to leave a restaurant to manage Caleb in person when he hasn’t been listening to his babysitter. Jeff tries more reasoning.
Finish this sentence with one word… “To me, family is….”
Home. Family is Home.
