Choosing to start a family is a big deal, so congratulations for taking the first step!
First off, there are many ways to create your family, whether it is fostering, adoption, co-parenting, surrogacy, We chose surrogacy to create our family as we thought there was more “control” over the whole process, but little did we know that wasn’t the case!
So what is surrogacy? Surrogacy is the act of a woman (altruistic by nature) carrying a child (or children) for another individual or couple, with the intention of giving the child(ren) to the intended parent(s) at birth.
There are two types of surrogacy journeys, traditional and gestational. Traditional surrogacy is when the surrogate is also the egg donor. A gestational surrogate is when an unrelated embryo is implanted into the surrogate . Eggs are donated by another woman, then embryos are created. There is no genetic relation of the egg and surrogate.
There is a lot of information out there when it comes to surrogacy, so we have compiled a list for you to make your journey a little bit easier!
You can go on this journey two ways, with the help of a surrogacy consultant firm (where they will match you with an egg donor and a surrogate, connect you with a lawyer) or you can do your journey independent, where you search out an egg donor, surrogate, lawyer, fertility clinic yourself. (We did our journey independently.)
Below are resources for you to begin your own journey.
Two websites that offer resources for surrogacy are www.menhavingbabies.org (MHB) and www.gayswithkids.com. (GWK)
Once a year, we host the Toronto Conferences with MHB. Since COVID, conferences have been held online. and there is a lot of virtual events that have been taking place. Click here to access these events. MHB offers this great program called GPAP- GayParenting Assistance Program. where the organization will help subsidize some of the costs involved with surrogacy.
We are based in Toronto, so the following information is for contacts in the Greater Toronto Area and surrounding area. If you choose to do this journey through a consulting firm, please check out Canadian Surrogacy Options, (CSO), Surrogacy In Canada Online, (SCO), Canadian Fertility Consultants (CFC).
If you choose to do this journey independently, without the help of a consulting firm, then the following resources will be helpful for you. Essentially you will need an egg donor, sperm, a surrogate, a fertility clinic, a fertility lawyer, a birth plan, a midwife, or doctor.
We signed up to https://www.surrogatefinder.com/. This is a site that you sign up and pay for where you can look up egg donors and surrogates. You will have to create a profile about yourself and message women directly yourself. We found our egg donor and surrogate on this site!
One of the first steps is to get in contact with a Family & Fertility Law Lawyer. With your lawyer you will discuss contracts, what should be included in it, what legal issues will/could arise. A few you can contact are:
Sara R. Cohen from fertilitylawcanada.com
Shirley Eve Levitan from familyandfertilitylaw.ca,
Sherry Levitan from fertilitylaw.ca.
Secondly you will need to contact a Fertility Clinic. With your clinic you and your surrogate will go through a medical screening process, your embryos will be created, you can choose whether you want a fresh or frozen transfer. Your egg donor can also use the same fertility clinic as you, or her eggs can be transferred from her clinic to your clinic. These are a few clinics here in Toronto are:
Repromed
CReATe
Anova Fertility
New Life
Here in Canada surrogacy is not fully regulated, like in the USA, so costs are different than the US. You cannot technically pay a surrogate to carry your baby (That is human trafficking!) but you can discuss on a price for reimbursement expenses your surrogate will incur during the process. This will be discussed with your lawyer and surrogate. Overall, be prepared to spend anywhere from $70-$100,000 CAD.
We hope this information helps you. It is a lot of information, but you can also start your journey and take your time. For example, find your egg donor first, make your embryos, freeze them and then take your time finding a surrogate. That is the hardest process in all this, trying to match with a woman you like and that likes you! If you have any questions, please do not to hesitate to ask! Send us an email at: hello@familyisaboutlove.com